Enlightenment and Vegetables.

You know, I've always been angry about the working position I chose. I've been in Customer Service retail for about 10 years now, and I never could get over the fact that I hate people. I'm always flabberghasted when they don't know how to swipe their own debit cards, a mite annoyed when they can't check their own lottery tickets, a scrap depressed when they can't follow the signs to get to a bathroom. Well, today, I felt a little bit of compassion. I don't know, call it the holiday season, it's 'Magical', whatever. I was *ahem* servicing a customer (now don't make this dirty you sickos!) and the doe eyed look on that old guys face just made me want to reach out and pet his mane while feeding him an apple or a lump of sugar, and I realized.


"These Customers aren't being stupid just to piss me off and make my day worse! They actually and Factually don't know any better! They're just plain old dumb! "


And of course that made my day better, and with that thought out, the customers didn't seem as stupid to me, just mildly endearing, if not entertaining.


And so I leave you on a lighter note. The next time someone pisses you off with their stupidity, do not frown. No. do not use any wasted emotion on these poor souls that have been depraved of the common sense and good old working brain cells. Instead, look them in the eye, smile, and gently pull their bridle down until they are eating the carrot out of your hand. and oh yeah. always bring carrots.

Tips for the dutiful Consumer pt.1

Ok. So I've been noticing this more and more lately. Cell phones.and the immeadiate and deadly rude use of it in a public place. Particularly in my store. More to the point, when they're at the cash register, with me. Ok. So first I go through the 'is it me?' phases. Do I stink? Have they been here before, and I just didn't have enough stimulating conversation for them? Am I just plain creepy? These and other questions will inevitably pop into my brain when confronted with me losing a chance for small talk to a piece of coloured plastic electronickery. And, do you know, I just love being Told to put said merchandise into a bag, or being Told to get certain said merchandise. Because when any action is put to me when the customer is only half paying attention, or is put to me as a side thought deterred from his more important conversation about supper, and who he/she/it saw last night, that action becomes a demand, a telling to, and not a request. and that irks me to no end. So my course of action? Talk as loudly to the customer as I can, while he is on the phone, so that if he can not tell the importance of conversing with a flesh-and-blood person instead of a voice carried through satellite waves, then at least the person on the other line will have enough sense to ask to call later. or stop talking. The other thing I do is wait. just wait. I wait until they're done their conversation, or until they have enough sense to put the guy on hold, or the phone down, and apologise. Sometimes I help the people behind them, or clean things, but mostly I just stare and wait. So really. I ask any of you who read this. If you happen upon a store and are just coming to the checkout when the phone rings,PUT THE BLOODY THING DOWN!thank-you.

Things I wish I never heard of

Kay. Surely everyone has heard the Fountain tire commercial on the radio. yes. radio. I happen to listen to it at work, since I LIKE hearing the same five songs over and over again. anyways, You know the ad, that one where the Fountain tire spokesperson is trying to gip a free box of cookies out of an unsuspecting girl guide. Well, I have to say that I hate that spokesperson with a passion. Not only does he have a nasally-impaired voice, not only is he blatantly dumb (and not the cutesy-Mr. Bean-not a clue dumb, the other dumb),but he's annoying too. However, He's got Midas beat, and so I can't Hate him entirely. Shame. Now, the politics of Tire-selling and adjustments and pretty arranging of the tires so they don't fall off, pretty much escape me. I don't know shit about cars. But I'm pretty sure the folks at Midas don't know much either. I do know that awesome phrase 'Righty-tighty, Lefty-Loosey" comes in handy when trying to replace a tire. The gents at this particular establishment anyway, do not. at all. In fact, the last time my car was in an accident(not by me by the by, but that's another story. and a few more by's) I had the unfortunate advantage of bringing it there, because they were the only place close by that was open on christmas. Now, it could have been the little fact that they were stuck working ON Christmas, or whatever. I make no excuses for the idiocy of this town and it's businessmen. They had to re-align my tires. and they did. They also left the car door open for about 2 or three hours after, so my car was completely dead when I came to pick it up. And cold. They also told me that my front passenger side rim was bent out of shape and they had to beat it back into shape. uhuh. I had to get that rim replaced by the by, as they had completely STRAIGHTENED IT, and it was literally shaving my tire bald. They also did Not apply the 'Righty-tighty, Lefty-Loosey' rule, and the two back tires almost fell right off my car on the way home. So. I ask you, oh Great Fountain Tire spokesman of the radio(yep, he's a man. that explains a bit) what are your promises? Cuz If you're place is anything like the Midas guys, I don't want anything to do with you. See, when cars get that 'Midas' touch(get it? Midas touch? heh? heh?... nevermind)at least in My town, Midas is essentially screwing itself over for not only it's own incompetence, but thousands of employees in hundreds of franchises across North America. Oh well. I'm sure your competitors aren't complaining, Midas. Like that Annoying Fountain Tire guy.

My Final and probably only piece of advice in this spiel is that no matter how insignificant, stupid people have a purpose too. That annoying dude on the radio may have to be someone to listen to, though unless it's on how to torment girl guides and brownies and such, I don't know. And for gawd's sake, DON'T Trust the Midas touch.