Enlightenment and Vegetables.

You know, I've always been angry about the working position I chose. I've been in Customer Service retail for about 10 years now, and I never could get over the fact that I hate people. I'm always flabberghasted when they don't know how to swipe their own debit cards, a mite annoyed when they can't check their own lottery tickets, a scrap depressed when they can't follow the signs to get to a bathroom. Well, today, I felt a little bit of compassion. I don't know, call it the holiday season, it's 'Magical', whatever. I was *ahem* servicing a customer (now don't make this dirty you sickos!) and the doe eyed look on that old guys face just made me want to reach out and pet his mane while feeding him an apple or a lump of sugar, and I realized.


"These Customers aren't being stupid just to piss me off and make my day worse! They actually and Factually don't know any better! They're just plain old dumb! "


And of course that made my day better, and with that thought out, the customers didn't seem as stupid to me, just mildly endearing, if not entertaining.


And so I leave you on a lighter note. The next time someone pisses you off with their stupidity, do not frown. No. do not use any wasted emotion on these poor souls that have been depraved of the common sense and good old working brain cells. Instead, look them in the eye, smile, and gently pull their bridle down until they are eating the carrot out of your hand. and oh yeah. always bring carrots.

Oh! the ninja's you'll see!

This weekend has been quite interesting on it's own, what with Ufc fights, parties, general craziness, and my sonny boy singing his new favorite song, 'I'm a butter butt, and I'm okay', to the tune of Monty Python's famous Lumberjack skit.

My favorite bit, however, was introducing my two kitties to a dog so that when said dog comes to visit, they won't go all kitty-ninja on him, and get their little furry asses kicked.

-not a smart idea, don't you agree?

This puppy is extremely well-behaved, and was pretty much ignorant of them for most of the night, as there were people around that were more fun to play with. It was only once in a while that you could see puppy's eyes swivel to meet my smallest cat, and within their staring matches, you could just see the indecision on pup's face.

'Squeezy chew-toy! go up? or flatten? which will make bigger squeak? *pant*'

(at least that's my interpretation of what was in pup's mind, I just can't see a dog speaking in a more verbose style than that, you know? I just can't hear it saying something like, ' That skittish feline is making me a tad sprightly and waggish, I just can't surmise whether I shall use gravity's force whereupon my paw will meet her head, or if I shall use my snout to launch her in the air to my extreme enjoyment. .. damn there goes my tail again...'. although it would keep my imagination more wordy, I can't justify thinking this will come about in a dog's head)

NEWAYS,

After three hours approx, Little kitty figured she would exert her fearlessness and dominance and lay down a coupla feet from puppy, and they seemed happy-ish, until Little kitty decided that 3 feet wasn't good enough. So she got a little closer, up on the chair of course, gotta keep your escape routes open, and they went nose to snout for a second or two. Then, Little kitty gave a small hiss, puppy looked unfazed, and they were both done with each other. Bit anti-climactic really.

The Bigger kitty, however, would have nothing to do with him, and looked like she was going to attack the entire time we tried bringing pup in Her-I mean My room. We gave up after a while cuz she was making the cutest sounds out of her chest, and she kinda looked like when you mold a happy face in plasticine and then you pull the cheeks back and it starts looking evil? you know? whatever. she didn't look happy anyways.

So all in all, my weekend was pretty- well, pretty boring, but I spent it mostly with people I don't mind, so it's alright in the end. Plus, just writing this made me realize how little I know about how to talk. or write.

This post has been brought to you by http://www.thesaurus.com/, and by Becky's complete lack of knowledge on the English Language.

The NEW! Newfie Spa

I seriously don't know what people see in lobsters. this past friday I had the um... *ahem* privelege to work during a city wide lobster boil. These people paid 70-some bucks to eat a lobster and some high class mac and cheeze. yup. mac and cheeze. Special people. They didn't even know how to eat with their HANDS, let alone a lobster cracker and a special fork. Lemme tell you, butter was ev-ery-where. First off, I don't know if our linens will survive the messy butter carnage. Second, I have pimples starting from the sheer amount of melted butter in the air. And these people were in awe of the smell of the beast! Like, LOVIN it.
YouTube - Swedish Chef and lobsters

I personally want to gag any time I smell the odour of dead sea creature and ocean water, but there a total of about 150 of these things being boiled, so it was inescapable. the air was permeated with the stench. A literal Newfie spa. Most of the people eating these things were drooling hardcore. It was kinda like the Pavlovian bell of crustaceans. icky. Most of us working there were smiling simply to tamper down our gag reflexes, which were working over time. By the end of the night (lemme tell ya, late) every pore of mine had absorbed more lobster juice than a month's worth in a Halifax harbour. I swear, I turn a certain way and I can still smell it, and that's After 3 equally long and scalding showers with only the best perfumed soaps and such. I'd take the stench of dead cow any day after this. And I will never, Ever, go near or eat butter again. well.. at least not til thanksgiving.