My newest X-mas gift!

I like to dance. A lot. I like to dance for real, I like to dance for audiences, I like to dance when I'm happy, learned some good news, and yes, sometimes I do a little angry dance.




I also like to make up stupid little rhymes and songs/chants just for the fun of it. Usually it's because I'm bored, but sometimes, it's just because I'm a little bat-shite crazy. Okay. The chant thing makes it sound like I'm a hippy (which there's nothing wrong with, but I'm not) or some weird pagan-ey type person, which I am also not. Lemme explain.

Example:

Me and my guy have been looking for a house, one that allows multiple pets, and found two that I looked at and liked, and so filled in the appropriate applications for. Then comes the waiting. Both places said they'd call back this morning, and my guy was feeling skeptical about it, since most places for rent don't allow pets easily, if at all. Well, this morning, I got a call back from one of the places, and let me tell you, the guy I was talking to sounded so enthusiastic about having us live there, I pretty well signed on right away, but he was with the more expensive place. So I told him I'd think about it and get back to him. Not even ten minutes later, the other house called me back.



(Now lets take into account at this time in my story, that I was at work when this happened, although the store wasn't open yet. kay. back to my stupidity.)

So this other guy calls back, lets call him guy 2 for now, and guy2 is telling me how he thinks the place is ours, just have to drop by the office and drop a down deposit so I can guarantee a hold on it. and in the middle of this conversation, my work phone rings. I don't want to be rude to either person on the phone, so I swivel around the cell phone with guy2 on it, pick up the other phone, and do my little "Thanks for calling the gladly-take-your-money-store, can you please hold?" bit, (Multi-talented, that's me) and put that phone down so I can concentrate on guy2 who's in the midst of telling me move in dates, and the such. a short 30 seconds later, I'm off the phone with guy2, beaming stupidly to an empty store, and congratulating myself on winning the bet that both places would call back, even though my guy didn't actually make a bet, but I needed some way to fill my childish competitiveness up for the weekend. In fact I was so pleased, I got up and started doing a little 'winners' dance. And then I started chanting. 'I fukin told yuh, I fukin told yuh, I fukin, fukin, fukin, fukin, fukin, told yuh.' I finished up my dancing and juvenile chanting, and got back to work.



Only half an hour later, when I had just opened up the store, did I realize that I hadn't gotten back to the lady who I had asked to hold. I checked the phone of course, but there was no answer. Why should there be?

So now I'm left to wonder whether some random lady heard my potty-mouthed ranting, or if I got off the hook because she was impatient and couldn't wait for 35 seconds....







on a completely somewhat different topic, I had a lady come in that tried to give me $6.20 on an $8.47 bill. Between my saying it out loud and the computer screen telling her you'd think she wouldn't've had a problem. She blamed it on me not speaking properly, and how I should get my speech problems fixed, and did I know that roughly half of the younger population cannot speak properly? I replied in a properly low mumble,' did you know that about 75% percent of the population over 65 wear hearing aids, and about 35% percent probably need them?'

I'm a little old man, short and stout, here is my walking cane, here is my prostate!

What is it with old people and their will to die?

anyone?

I have this one gentleman who always pays the wrong amount, and then when I point out the error, he comes back with, 'Oh, I would never mean to cheat you out! I'm due at the pearly gates soon, ya know'. Or the Little Ukrainian woman with the boobs to her knees that likes to travel to a different province for about 10 months in the year, not consecutively though, she likes to go back and forth every coupla weeks. I think it's something to do with family. getting off topic here. ANYWAYS, she always ends sentences with "God willing" or "God rest him/her/them/etc", and she likes to talk about dead people. like they were still here. Perfect Example: The Show that was last going on in the Theatre that I work at had a little ol' lady character in it that gets obsessed with death, funerals, tombstones, final resting places, etc, whenever she starts feeling poorly. The playwright got spot on with that one, what with the older mentality and defeatist attitude. well not defeatist, maybe acceptance? It's becoming all too common, anyways. I'm not saying that all older peoples are like this, just the ones that gravitate around me are.

Take this.

A woman that just was in my store asked if we had a public washroom. Now, I don't really like just anyone using the washroom, as I think most people don't actually know How to use a public restroom, hence the 'employees only' sign on it. just as I'm saying no, her husband goes right in. seems he's been here before, and considers this place home. or at the very least our plumbing facilities. then she feels the utter need to let me in on the state of his prostate, and other such maladies. and the time he's got left in this world. Now I know that losing someone is hard, dying sucks, and getting old just blows in general. But confiding in your friendly customer service rep is not really the way to go. Talk to family, friends, hire a professional, but please, don't spill on the chick who only gets paid just above minimum wage to sell cigs and candy.

Plus, I just put a sign on the Bathroom Door that really should make people think about their conscientiousness!! There's already an 'Employees Only' sign on there that should make things clear, but since it doesn't me and my beautiful Permanent Marker made an attachment that reads-*ahem*

THIS MEANS WHAT IT SAYS!!!-thanks, mgmt.

Now, I'm not the Bathroom Nazi. Of course I'll let customers in if they really need it.They just need to ask. Is that so hard? really? whatever happened to people being shy and modest when using the facilities? why do I need to know that they've got raging prostate problems, or that their hemorrhoids are acting up? um.. didn't mention that particular customer did I? oh well. another time.