I'm a little old man, short and stout, here is my walking cane, here is my prostate!

What is it with old people and their will to die?

anyone?

I have this one gentleman who always pays the wrong amount, and then when I point out the error, he comes back with, 'Oh, I would never mean to cheat you out! I'm due at the pearly gates soon, ya know'. Or the Little Ukrainian woman with the boobs to her knees that likes to travel to a different province for about 10 months in the year, not consecutively though, she likes to go back and forth every coupla weeks. I think it's something to do with family. getting off topic here. ANYWAYS, she always ends sentences with "God willing" or "God rest him/her/them/etc", and she likes to talk about dead people. like they were still here. Perfect Example: The Show that was last going on in the Theatre that I work at had a little ol' lady character in it that gets obsessed with death, funerals, tombstones, final resting places, etc, whenever she starts feeling poorly. The playwright got spot on with that one, what with the older mentality and defeatist attitude. well not defeatist, maybe acceptance? It's becoming all too common, anyways. I'm not saying that all older peoples are like this, just the ones that gravitate around me are.

Take this.

A woman that just was in my store asked if we had a public washroom. Now, I don't really like just anyone using the washroom, as I think most people don't actually know How to use a public restroom, hence the 'employees only' sign on it. just as I'm saying no, her husband goes right in. seems he's been here before, and considers this place home. or at the very least our plumbing facilities. then she feels the utter need to let me in on the state of his prostate, and other such maladies. and the time he's got left in this world. Now I know that losing someone is hard, dying sucks, and getting old just blows in general. But confiding in your friendly customer service rep is not really the way to go. Talk to family, friends, hire a professional, but please, don't spill on the chick who only gets paid just above minimum wage to sell cigs and candy.

Plus, I just put a sign on the Bathroom Door that really should make people think about their conscientiousness!! There's already an 'Employees Only' sign on there that should make things clear, but since it doesn't me and my beautiful Permanent Marker made an attachment that reads-*ahem*

THIS MEANS WHAT IT SAYS!!!-thanks, mgmt.

Now, I'm not the Bathroom Nazi. Of course I'll let customers in if they really need it.They just need to ask. Is that so hard? really? whatever happened to people being shy and modest when using the facilities? why do I need to know that they've got raging prostate problems, or that their hemorrhoids are acting up? um.. didn't mention that particular customer did I? oh well. another time.

The giantest pity party that can be made in less than 5 minutes.

little broken here. Lopsided really, but on the upside, it only took me 7 days of on -and-off icky sharp pain, horrible sleep, and people pestering me to go to a doctor or something and stop fu**ing complaining to them for me to-
- go to a doctor.
And stop complaining. Sort of.


And it's not exactly a doctor, more like a Massage Therapist, but still licensed, and I've also been complaining to random people about needing a really good massage, so really I'm killing two birds with one stone here. Yay for time management!!!

I'm not here for anyone else's pity but my own, but it's not so bad. Here. I found a picture that could describe the discomfort to you! yay again!

I may or may not look like this.

the following is not an accurate representation of what happened to me, but it deserves an aww, and some pity for the poar creature!

But I have to say, I learned something from searching for my perfect look-a-like via google images. This shoulder thing has been a recurring problem for years and years now, and as I was searching, I found an article on 'frozen shoulder and thyroid problems.' Hmmm. Does it matter that my family has a history of thyroid problems? dunno. Do I really want to get rid of these icky shoulder pains? most likely. Do these things have anything in common with what I found on the net? also dunno.

Really should get that physical sometime soon.

Anyways, pity me, and mourn for me. Then, after Saturday, you can rejoice for me, and then we can get back about our business.

HALLOWEEN!

ok, so it's a little late, but not too too late, so I'll tell you all about it.
So The Last week of October, my son has had a bad flu,(this is a reminder, Please, get a flu shot, to save the ickies.) So, sonny had been spiking temps of about 103.-whatever since Monday the 29th, and was not in the best of health for tricky-treating. But, alas, daycare is such a wonderful place, that by the time pick-up time came around, he was up and about, full of Motrin, and running a wonderful little 'I'm goin tricky-treatin! yay for candy' rant, and since his dad had promised a week before to take him out, I couldn't really say no. Could I? so off home we go, and by the time we pick up daddy from work, the little tyke is passed out. yup, snoring in the car seat, oblivious to the whole day. Should I have just moved him from car seat to bed and not even tried the rest of the night? said enuf is enuf, and be done with it? probably.
so we get home, and daddy gets sonny out of the car seat, and sonny wakes up and lo and behold, starts the rant again. Now this whole rant was really kinda cute to hear in a way, since he was losing his voice, and it was coming out a squeak, so it kinda sounded like he was daydreaming. huh. So we get home, and bring out the spider man costume, figure we can tour the apartment building, and go home. Here is the first trial. even though Logan has worn the costume before, He doesn't want to wear it with clothes on. so we take off the clothes. Then he doesn't want to wear it at all. He can't understand as we try to explain that you can only get candy if you dress up. 'I can't wear it', he wails, and for a kid that's losing his voice, that's pretty impressive. So we ask why, and he replies' I can't tell you' and then proceeds to get really upset. So I ask Daddy to go put on his chef whites that he wore to work that day, and tell Logan that Daddy dressed up for candy, can you? NO. but if both daddy and mommy dress up for candy, then can you? NO! and more balling.
So this goes on for about, oh, 10-15 minutes, and then finally I tell daddy to calm kiddo down, don't ask him any more questions, and I start rooting thru the boxes in the storage closet for years past costumes. can't find anything. Start looking in my closet and his for anything that he can dress up as. Can't find anything. Then, on the brink of everyone bursting into tears, I find a pair of kiddy wranglers that good ol' uncle Hungarian and auntie got him for the Christmas before, that were a couple sizes too big, and I can't say inspiration hit me,... it was more like desperation. So in the background with Logan wailing, and daddy only slightly freaking out, and me more so, I find a vest that I wear and a cowboy hat I have that badly needs reshaping, and ask Logan if he wants to be a cowboy. NO. the wails get worse and after yet another failed attempt at explaining that only dressed-up kids get candy, it's daddy's turn for a brilliant idea. How about we just get you re-dressed and then go out for candy?
ok.
So we put him into the wranglers, and then a sweater, and then another sweater, and then his big boots, and a scarf, and get a pillow case. Sneaky. At this point we ask him if he wants to wear the cowboy hat. Big mistake. The wailing starts again, and at this point the mommy-meter for patience wears out, and I go 'OK! NO HAT! LETS JUST GET A BASEBALL CAP AND PRETEND YOU'RE A FARMER!'
But we bring the hat along just in case.
So we decide to go outside, to the street just behind us that Logan and I have meandered through many times before, and when we get to the first house, I ask sonny if he wants to wear the cowboy hat.
Ok.
AHHHH! I should have known.
So we get to the first couple of houses okay, including the one guy who just moved in and was renovating, so he gave Logan a couple of granola bars and a box of kd, then shut his porch light off. So as Logan is finally getting into the spirit of things, we get to this house in a cul-de-sac thing, and Logan goes up yells(as best he can, which isn't much with no voice, so mom and dad have to help) tricky- treating! and this little old lady answers the door, and she falls all over him like he's the cutest thing she's ever seen and of course in doing so, boosts up said parents egos and confidence, and then she asks him The Question.
'Are you a cowboy?'
and at this Logan looks so offended, and responds angrily' NO! I'm a Logan! '
and the lady lets out a twitter, and says 'I'm sorry, we don't get many Logan's dressed-up here."
and Logan says, 'I'm not dressed- up! Don't talk to me'
and turns around.
yeah.
Fan-tastic.
So after mass apologies, and I think the lady wasn't too offended, she still gave him raisins, and we're on our way. So I think Logan cheered up a bit after that, and did his usual flirting, and got mass handouts, and I do mean mass handouts, we hit 20 houses or so, and Logan filled half a pillow case. There was even one house, where the parents were ready to take Their kids out, and so they gave Logan like six bags of chips. This was also the house Logan met spider man. There was a five-six yr old dressed up as spider man, and he gave Logan one of the bags of chips, and you can just see His eyes go Wide! and soo surprised, and he says,'HI SPIDER MAN!' and goes to give this kid a hug, and I'm glad this kid wasn't older and more wary, cuz he returned the hug, and Logan is just glowing. His dad and I didn't really have the heart to tell him that spider man is a little taller than 3 foot 3. And after we hit one side of the street, it was time to go home, as his dad and I were taking turns either holding the candy-filled pillowcase, or holding Logan, and to tell the truth, it was hard to tell which weighed more.
So we get home, and logan gets back down to his diaper, and mommy dumps out the pillow-case to search for tainted goodies, and it wasn't bad, I only threw out a marshmallow thing and the box of raisins. I swear some people should definitly check expiration dates if they're going to give out healthy food. I don't condone it, in fact I recommend it, but really. Dont just give it away cuz it's been in your cupboard for the last five years, and you can't bring yourself to throw it out....
so that is the halloween story, and it's pretty scary, at least parts of it are in my eyes.
Stay tuned for more adventures from the Tiny Pianist!