a Whimsical Winter Wonderland of Wisecracks

I love winter. No joke. Most people here don't really like the white stuff, but not me. I love it. Here are ten good reasons why.(just cuz ten seemed like the right number to put down. gut feeling, that's all.)

1.Location, Location, Location:

I live in a province (yes I said province) where 6-8 months of the year are covered in snow. you can't get rid of it. You can't form petitions to have it forcefully removed, cuz goddamn muther nature will just keep giving it back. You can't escape it because the land is so flat you give up trying after about three days of running. all you see is white.

2.Kids:

I have a child, who loves to build and throw and destroy things. yes I have a boy-beast. Snow,to me at least, is a built-in toy/friend/bribe that I don't have to pay for. I mean... what the hell. yeah. it's free. and that makes me happy in my pants. and my heartstrings. if I had any.

3.Weather:

I can't quite describe the feeling I get when I look up and see the murky grey sky, that chill in my bones, and the wind through my hair. It makes me happy inside. it makes me think of past winters and hot chocolate, and don't eat yellow snow-too late, and forts and making graves for dead squirrels that you find in your annoying neighbours/ neighbourhood nemesis's yard, just so you can have the satisfaction of 5 months later having the snow melt and the looks on their faces. Now that, my friends, was long-term fun.

4.Clothing:

mittens. and toques. I believe that says it all. oh wait...

5.Holiday aromas:

The sizzle of wet mittens and toques as you dried them on the heating vents and the almost overpowering smell of wet dog that seemed to waft from these seemingly harmless little knitted accessories.

6.The Holiday Sales:

Not the Holidays themselves, those are just a bullshit commercialized reason for you to buy things for other people so they'll be your friends for another year. No. I like the shopping for me. and what better time to buy useless, and sometimes harmful, or at least pretty stuff, than when it's on sale for a completely different reason? no time like snow time, I always say. like just now.

7.Tunes:

On the topic of Holidays, that pretty much go hand in hand with winter, my next favorite thing is the X-mas Songs. Now, I'm a bit un-orthidox about this one, as I can't seem to remember any bloody holiday jingle when there's actually need for one, but give me a nice hot sunny sunday in June, when everybody else is singing about their blings, ices, ice-cream, umbrellas and whatnot, I'm singing Jingle bells.

8.Chocolate:

Yes kiddies, the Queen of all things sugary, bittersweet, and overpriced. Now, you can get chocolate pretty much any day of the year, but only during the winter can you get Cadbury's Chocolate elves a'la pop rocks. If you haven't had one of these things, you should. if you don't know what pop rocks are, you're stoopid. if you don't care, that's fine by me. These things are on the highest pillars of awesomeness, and they will never come down. unless they start putting pop rocks into reese's.

9.Boots:

well, a chance to buy new shoes of any kind really. I'm not particular. But I guess for the occasion, It'll have to be boots. or sexy heels for new years. . . mmmmmmm, shoes....

10.Golden Glowing Glacial Graupel:

otherwise known as: yellow snow. ahar de har ha ha. too funny.

By the Power of Leapfrog!!!

So here we are again, me showing off with the tardiness of my writing capabilities. bad! bad me! I have shamed myself. really. and with so much news to tell! I got a part in that Crazy white trash musical, since past,(the last showing was July 26th, to be exact) and it was a complete blast. really. lotsa fun. lotsa work too, since I was also working at the same venue that I was rehearsing, and eventually performing at. All at the same time. So if we work out the total life time I lost to this from the rest time I received, I technically only had Wednesday evenings off, with Sunday to Tuesday nights reserved for learning the play, and Thursday to Saturday nights for working. And Monday to Friday days for also working. But still, lotsa fun. Lots of drama too, and I don't mean with the actors. My own life tends to spiral out of control when I least expect it, which due to my goldfish memory-holding capabilities, is quite often. And in the midst of the swirling vortex which is my agenda, I usually tend to lose sight of the big picture, whilst trying to keep each little piece in order, resulting in broken appendages both literal and figurative. all of my own making of course, me being the control freak that I am. But enough of that. I know what I've done, and by means of keeping something slightly private, and away from prying webular eyes, I'll move on. This is no pity party after all.

No! this is about my son!

Do you know how interesting it is to teach a boy to recognize his ABC's?

My son is learning his letters, albeit reluctantly. After all, who needs letters and books when there are movies and video games to be had! and the funniest bit? I don't have TV, we rarely watch movies, and I don't own a gaming system of any kind. This is all learnt exclusively through outside sources, via babysitters, friends, etc. So... three hours, and a coupla timeouts later, and we now know ABCDFOSTXZ, and not in that order. But it's a start. I tell ya, if not for leapfrog, I would be forced to do it by hand, and then, even though I'm sure the letters would be learned in order, we would not have gotten as far. Also, I would thank nameless, who has a heck of a lot more patience than I, for about half an hour in, I was cleaning to relieve the tension, while sonny boy and nameless were still going at it. my parenting skills stop at a certain limit, apparently, mostly with teaching school-type things, as I can't even remember how I learned my alphabet, though I do recall a certain book with pictures of things that started with each letter, the most eye-catching picture being the ashtray labeled under Aa. And people wonder why I smoke. ha ha. ha..yeah.

Keeping with the subject of Learning new things and My son, there's the small matter of sports. Which is really quite big, if you look at all angles. He's starting in a swimming class come September, and myself and another have been trying to teach him other various sports, such as baseball, soccer, etc. Mostly starting with the fact that he can't just quit or cry when he doesn't get it right the first time. And let me tell you, not the easiest thing to instill in a child. there has to be a magic sentence or something that you say to the child, and BOOM! no more whiny give-ups. And they are not 'you only cry if you're a girl', 'big boys don't quit, you wanna be a big boy don't you?', ' if you quit then you don't get ice-cream', and other such bribes. And no, I am not above bribing, sometimes it's the best way to quiet the situation. I'm not saying it solves anything, just that sometimes it's better to compromise with food and/or toys and/or free-time, than to lose Mommy's sanity. But on the upside, he's learning.... slowly, like snail-speed multiplied. Example. I took him out to the park with a soccer ball, and took him to the field, and we started by running the length of the field while kicking the ball in front of you. that lasted about 20 yards. then we kicked it back to each other, which resulted in him picking up the ball and throwing it at me because he was frustrated. so I hit it with my head. THEN he was interested. So what was Going to be a teaching session, turned into a half-hour of Me throwing the ball at his head, and him running around trying to get it to bounce back to me. see? Not entirely wasted, but not the first thing I would've preferred to teach him. Enjoyable though. Kind of satisfying when you get to whack your son on the head, and he wants more. yup. Caring and responsible parent. That's me.

that's all my rantings for now. at least until we learn LMNOP. that should be fun. ha ha. ha....

HALLOWEEN!

ok, so it's a little late, but not too too late, so I'll tell you all about it.
So The Last week of October, my son has had a bad flu,(this is a reminder, Please, get a flu shot, to save the ickies.) So, sonny had been spiking temps of about 103.-whatever since Monday the 29th, and was not in the best of health for tricky-treating. But, alas, daycare is such a wonderful place, that by the time pick-up time came around, he was up and about, full of Motrin, and running a wonderful little 'I'm goin tricky-treatin! yay for candy' rant, and since his dad had promised a week before to take him out, I couldn't really say no. Could I? so off home we go, and by the time we pick up daddy from work, the little tyke is passed out. yup, snoring in the car seat, oblivious to the whole day. Should I have just moved him from car seat to bed and not even tried the rest of the night? said enuf is enuf, and be done with it? probably.
so we get home, and daddy gets sonny out of the car seat, and sonny wakes up and lo and behold, starts the rant again. Now this whole rant was really kinda cute to hear in a way, since he was losing his voice, and it was coming out a squeak, so it kinda sounded like he was daydreaming. huh. So we get home, and bring out the spider man costume, figure we can tour the apartment building, and go home. Here is the first trial. even though Logan has worn the costume before, He doesn't want to wear it with clothes on. so we take off the clothes. Then he doesn't want to wear it at all. He can't understand as we try to explain that you can only get candy if you dress up. 'I can't wear it', he wails, and for a kid that's losing his voice, that's pretty impressive. So we ask why, and he replies' I can't tell you' and then proceeds to get really upset. So I ask Daddy to go put on his chef whites that he wore to work that day, and tell Logan that Daddy dressed up for candy, can you? NO. but if both daddy and mommy dress up for candy, then can you? NO! and more balling.
So this goes on for about, oh, 10-15 minutes, and then finally I tell daddy to calm kiddo down, don't ask him any more questions, and I start rooting thru the boxes in the storage closet for years past costumes. can't find anything. Start looking in my closet and his for anything that he can dress up as. Can't find anything. Then, on the brink of everyone bursting into tears, I find a pair of kiddy wranglers that good ol' uncle Hungarian and auntie got him for the Christmas before, that were a couple sizes too big, and I can't say inspiration hit me,... it was more like desperation. So in the background with Logan wailing, and daddy only slightly freaking out, and me more so, I find a vest that I wear and a cowboy hat I have that badly needs reshaping, and ask Logan if he wants to be a cowboy. NO. the wails get worse and after yet another failed attempt at explaining that only dressed-up kids get candy, it's daddy's turn for a brilliant idea. How about we just get you re-dressed and then go out for candy?
ok.
So we put him into the wranglers, and then a sweater, and then another sweater, and then his big boots, and a scarf, and get a pillow case. Sneaky. At this point we ask him if he wants to wear the cowboy hat. Big mistake. The wailing starts again, and at this point the mommy-meter for patience wears out, and I go 'OK! NO HAT! LETS JUST GET A BASEBALL CAP AND PRETEND YOU'RE A FARMER!'
But we bring the hat along just in case.
So we decide to go outside, to the street just behind us that Logan and I have meandered through many times before, and when we get to the first house, I ask sonny if he wants to wear the cowboy hat.
Ok.
AHHHH! I should have known.
So we get to the first couple of houses okay, including the one guy who just moved in and was renovating, so he gave Logan a couple of granola bars and a box of kd, then shut his porch light off. So as Logan is finally getting into the spirit of things, we get to this house in a cul-de-sac thing, and Logan goes up yells(as best he can, which isn't much with no voice, so mom and dad have to help) tricky- treating! and this little old lady answers the door, and she falls all over him like he's the cutest thing she's ever seen and of course in doing so, boosts up said parents egos and confidence, and then she asks him The Question.
'Are you a cowboy?'
and at this Logan looks so offended, and responds angrily' NO! I'm a Logan! '
and the lady lets out a twitter, and says 'I'm sorry, we don't get many Logan's dressed-up here."
and Logan says, 'I'm not dressed- up! Don't talk to me'
and turns around.
yeah.
Fan-tastic.
So after mass apologies, and I think the lady wasn't too offended, she still gave him raisins, and we're on our way. So I think Logan cheered up a bit after that, and did his usual flirting, and got mass handouts, and I do mean mass handouts, we hit 20 houses or so, and Logan filled half a pillow case. There was even one house, where the parents were ready to take Their kids out, and so they gave Logan like six bags of chips. This was also the house Logan met spider man. There was a five-six yr old dressed up as spider man, and he gave Logan one of the bags of chips, and you can just see His eyes go Wide! and soo surprised, and he says,'HI SPIDER MAN!' and goes to give this kid a hug, and I'm glad this kid wasn't older and more wary, cuz he returned the hug, and Logan is just glowing. His dad and I didn't really have the heart to tell him that spider man is a little taller than 3 foot 3. And after we hit one side of the street, it was time to go home, as his dad and I were taking turns either holding the candy-filled pillowcase, or holding Logan, and to tell the truth, it was hard to tell which weighed more.
So we get home, and logan gets back down to his diaper, and mommy dumps out the pillow-case to search for tainted goodies, and it wasn't bad, I only threw out a marshmallow thing and the box of raisins. I swear some people should definitly check expiration dates if they're going to give out healthy food. I don't condone it, in fact I recommend it, but really. Dont just give it away cuz it's been in your cupboard for the last five years, and you can't bring yourself to throw it out....
so that is the halloween story, and it's pretty scary, at least parts of it are in my eyes.
Stay tuned for more adventures from the Tiny Pianist!